Each of our Adoptive Families receives Adoption Education which includes how to tell a child they are adopted. It has long been recognized, it is important for a child to grow up knowing they are adopted. Ideally, we would like each of our Birth Parents to prepare a memory box for their child where they can share information about themselves. If you would like your child to hear about you, write your child a letter, or letters. Tell your child about yourself. Tell your child how and why you made the decision to choose an Adoption Plan for him or her. Share your story with the Adoptive Parents, and let them know what you would like your child to know about you. Discuss with the Adoptive Family what you would like them to tell your child.
You may want to tell your child silly things you did as a child, what you did for fun, who you hung out with. Did you play sports, did you wear braces, do you have a crooked big toe, were you allergic to cats, do you look like your Grandma, did your child look like you when you were a baby, how you felt the first time you felt your baby kick, what your hopes and dreams are for your child. This type of information will bring you alive in your childs mind, and will help him or her to know you as a person. You could have your family members write about you, include photographs of you riding your first bike, tying your shoes, your prom picture, you at the beach building a sand castle, a lock of your hair, whatever it is you feel will help your child to know who you are.
Most Adoptive Parents share all the information they know about the childs Birth Mother because they recognize this is a gift to the child. They will share their memories of you, how you looked, how grateful they are for your loving decision, and how much your sacrifice has meant to them. If you have an Open Adoption, there may be personal visits with your child if that was agreed upon, or letters and pictures exchanged. The same may be true of a Semi-open Adoption, except personal visits will not be part of the agreement. In these cases, you can share your story with your child in an age appropriate way.