How will my child be told about me when he or she is older?

Each of our Adoptive Families receives Adoption Education, including how to tell a child they are adopted. It has long been recognized that it is important for a child to grow up knowing they are adopted. Ideally, we would like each of our Birth Parents to prepare a memory box for their child where they can share information about themselves. If you would like your child to hear about you, write your child a letter or letters. Tell your child about yourself. Tell your child how and why you made the decision to choose an Adoption Plan for him or her. Share your story with the Adoptive Parents, and let them know what you want your child to know about you. Discuss with the Adoptive Family what you would like them to tell your child.

You may want to tell your child silly things you did as a child, what you did for fun, and who you hung out with. Did you play sports, did you wear braces, do you have a crooked big toe, were you allergic to cats, do you look like your Grandma, did your child looks like you when you were a baby, how did you feel the first time you felt your baby kick, what your hopes and dreams are for your child. This information will bring you alive in your child’s mind and help him or her to know you as a person. You could have your family members write about you, include photographs of you riding your first bike, tying your shoes, your prom picture, you at the beach building a sand castle, a lock of your hair, whatever it is you feel will help your child to know who you are.

Most Adoptive Parents share all the information they know about the child’s Birth Mother because they recognize this is a gift to the child. They will share their memories of you, how you looked, how grateful they are for your loving decision, and how much your sacrifice has meant to them. If you have an Open Adoption, there may be personal visits with your child if that was agreed upon, or letters and pictures exchanged. The same may be true of a Semi-open Adoption, except personal visits will not be part of the agreement. In these cases, you can share your story with your child age-appropriately.